The Condemned

Ahh, the classic action thriller riddled with corney lines and sweet deaths.

I'm such a sucker for these movies.

This is the classic case of professional critics hating everything that isn't a groundbreaking movement in cinema. I think that's why I could never be a professional critic because they're all stuck up douche bags who analyze every fine fucking detail and never open their eyes to what the movie really is. they never look at a movie the way a casual movie goer will see it, and thus bash it to hell giving it shitty reviews and thus even discouraging said movie goers from seeing it. That's why I <3 Yahoo user reviews, because they usually get it right. I don't give a rats ass if it had "plot holes, sexual objectification of the female characters, and massive amounts of violence untempered by comic relief, irony, or plot progression." If the movie was made to be an outstanding step in cinema like all these idiodic critics pine for, then maybe said bitching would be in order, but this isn't Million Dollar Baby, Crash, Babel or whatever the fuck these morons work one off to.

No. I didn't go to be moved. that's what I have Shawshank Redemption for. I went to see this movie to see people get blown up and to see Steve Austin say cheesy lines. And god damn does it deliver in that regard.

I think that the big thing that this movie is about is just that it's fun. There is a plot, and it's interesting enough to keep you wondering what's going to happen, but it's not so in depth that it drags the movie down. The center of the movie is Steve Austin doing his thing and manufacturingly hoping he wins. I say manufacturingly because they approach him as a common criminal but as the movie goes on practically makes you want to root for him. You just gotta feel bad for the guy... and I did. besides the Asian, he was my favorite because he was fighting for a purpose. You have to like that guy, or else your a commie.

The film is riddled with extremely corny lines like "game on." and "maybe it is we who are the condemned", but to be honest it wasn't a big deal. Because the whole time I'm watching this movie I kept thinking of how much like an early 90s action movie this is. The plot making you root for the American hero, the cheese-tastic lines, guns, blood, cliff hanging survival from what seems to be a bleak situation.. it's all there. I loved that about it.. because I'm a sucker for those kind of movies. I swear Steve Austin doesn't smile once in the whole movie until the very end, not to mention his lines and emotion were really... "stone cold". Heh. But as I said, it's no big, because that's the kind of thing movies like this do best, and it's entertaining, so who cares.

Overall I enjoyed it. Could have been bumped up a few notches when it comes to action, progression and character development, but the movie was fun, and that's all I want. I want to be entertained, not point out every tiny little flaw the movie has.

7.8